Who the $*?# Owns the Auburn-Obsessed Vanifesto that Was Spotted in Tuscaloosa, Alabama?
Look, everyone has their own "thing," and we shouldn't cyberbully others for just living their lives.
Over the weekend, I was sent a photo from one of my coworkers with the most heinous eyesore I've ever seen roll into our fair city.
TBH it's just gross. This sedan, spotted near Government Plaza downtown on Sunday, is absolutely littered with Auburn stickers.
And when I say littered, I mean LITTERED.
I only have one thing to say to the owner of this vehicle:
YOU MUST NOT BE FROM 'ROUND HERE.
Take a look at the photo above. This car has everything!
Auburn logos, tigers, eagles, shakers, and even a fluffy blue steering wheel to tie it all together. It's everything a barner's ever dreamed wrapped into ONE sedan!
I mean, you can't say this car doesn't have personality. Too bad it's the wrong one.
This car is a COMPLETE vanifesto for everything wrong in the world, and all that blue and orange shouldn't be legally allowed to rip the roads on this side of the state.
But, I do have a few questions for the vehicle's owner.
Simply, I don't get why anyone would cover their car in an egregious amount of stickers, least of all Auburn stickers.
It's different if you live in somewhere like Huntsville or Birmingham – their Alumni Hall stores are always split, and they're just centric enough to have a hefty amount of each fanbase.
But if I lived in THE City of Champions, I would want to keep my tiger fandom to myself.
2. CONTRADICTORY, MUCH?
You've got the classic Calvin (of "and Hobbes" fame) peeing on a script A, but also another Calvin peeing on an Auburn logo (it's next to the gas cap thing).
This simply makes no sense to me. It seems a bit contradictory to what you're trying to achieve here, but I've never been one to count on an Auburn fan for their intelligence.
3. WHAT TYPE OF AUTO INSURANCE DO YOU HAVE?
I'm just curious, given how susceptible you are to being keyed everywhere you go. I mean, with a car like that in Tuscaloosa, your premium must be YUGE.
(I feel like this needs to be said: DO NOT key this car if you see it around town. The above sentence is a joke.)
4. HOW DO WE BECOME MORE LIKE YOU?
I mean, let's face it. You have to have some absolute stones to drive a car like that around in Title Town. This vehicle's owner has to be pretty strong-willed to take such a stance in a city such as ours, and for that, they deserve mad respect.
Maybe we can all learn something from this person's unabashed bravery: be you, regardless of what everyone else thinks.
MAJOR props go to the owner of this car! Is it you? If so, hit me up – I want to talk to you!
If you see this car around town, take a photo of it and tag us on social media. Maybe we can get an interview with its owner!