10 DC Candidates That Could Do Better Than Pete Golding

In case you somehow missed it, Pete Golding is no longer the defensive coordinator of the Alabama Crimson Tide football program. Golding has packed his bags and headed west to Oxford, Miss., to join former Tide offensive coordinator Lane Kiffin at Ole Miss.

Nick Saban has yet to name a replacement for Golding in the weeks since he departed. That's fair; it's a big decision. However, we want to help coach out and give him some suggestions of people we are certain could do a better job in Tuscaloosa than Golding did.

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10. Jeremy Pruitt

Jeremy Pruitt did nothing wrong. Zero things. Well, except for trusting Phillip Fulmer. It's absolutely ridiculous that the SEC doesn't want to let him back into the conference for providing his players resources to live a decent human life outside of his football program just a few short years before the NIL era. Get this man back on the sidelines and drilling that dog mentality into Bama's defenders.

9. Brent Venables

Is Venables currently the head coach of a blue blood football program in the Oklahoma Sooners? Sure, but let's be real - they went 6-7, and that's just not good enough for the Sooners. It's probably best for Venables to get out early and save face rather than get run out of town by angry Oklahomans. What could be better for him than a little coaching rehab in Tuscaloosa?

8. Rich Rodriguez

Tuscaloosa isn't what it used to be. It's a much nicer place to live than it was when Mrs. Rodriguez turned her nose up at the idea of her husband moving her here. Nick Saban's football program has injected a ton of cash into the local economy and Rita should have plenty of fun here if Rodriguez comes to town. Remember, saying no to a head coaching job at a school doesn't mean you won't be willing to be the DC 16 years later!

7. Nate Scarborough

While many still aren't convinced that Scarborough wasn't a prolific police sweeper for semi-trucks illegally trafficking west coast beer in a past life, the truth of the matter is he's a very capable, hard nosed football coach that can whip even the most poorly behaved players into shape. A perfect candidate to stand next to Nick Saban on the sidelines.

6. Herman Boone

If Herman Boone can defend his team and family from the angry old-money white families of post-segregation Alexandria, Va., then he should absolutely be able to stop illegal pick plays on the goal line.

5. The Ghost of Joe Paterno

When faced with one of the most heinous scandals in sports history, Paterno had an untouchable means of defending himself - he simply died. It was an outstandingly bold strategy and ended up being quite effective. So far, the worst that's happened to Paterno is his statue was removed from the Penn State campus. Get his poltergeist form a headset and a call sheet.

4. Dan Snyder

How does someone stay in an extremely public position at the helm of a sports franchise despite being a terrible person and hated by every single fan of their organization for 20 plus years? By being Dan Snyder. Snyder has spent the better part of the last fifteen years defending himself against one controversy after another (with varying degrees of effectiveness). While recently, he seems to have laid down his sword and is preparing to step away, he's had an impressive run deflecting outside criticism. Perhaps throwing on a headset and calling defensive plays would suit him in his post-ownership life.

3. Rusty Hardin

Hardin represented Deshaun Watson through all of the allegations of sexual misconduct that were brought against him over the last few years. In total, 30 women accused Watson of varying degrees of sexual misconduct or assault. Watson ended up settling with some of the women out of court and paying the NFL a $5 million fine in addition to serving an 11 game suspension. Hardin's defensive game plan through out this process had to be flawless in order for Watson to ever take a snap in the NFL again. Not only has he done that, he also signed one of the most lucrative contracts in league history. Immaculate defense.

2. The Frozen Head of Robert Kardashian

OJ did it. We all know, the judge and jury knew it, and OJ knows it. So, how did he get away with it? By hiring Robert Kardashian. Fortunately, cryogenic freezing of body parts has become more and more common amongst the Hollywood elite, so we can just thaw this man's brain out and put a headset on it. Kardashian's defense of Simpson was air tight and supremely effective. Just imagine what he could do with Dallas Turner and Kool-Aid McKinstry as his clerks.

1. Mickey Mouse

Yep. There's a non-zero chance that the Mickster could do a better job than Pete Golding.