The College Football Playoff National Championship is Monday night, and it's time to answer what may be the most important question before kickoff: who would win in a mascot fight?

I'm serious. Who would win: Big Al, the beloved mascot of the Alabama Crimson Tide, or Ohio State's sentient nut Brutus?

Let's break it down and see which mascot comes out with the upper hand cut.

Getty Images
Getty Images

1.Weight Class

Average weight of an elephant: 4 tons
Average weight of a buckeye: IDK like 2 grams

Big Al would crush this Buckeye like it's a White Claw on Old Row. Brutus' tasty acorn brain would be everywhere.

Winner: Big Al

2. Fighting Style

Big Al looks like more of a lover than a fighter, and Brutus is literally ready to throw hands at any given time because he wears gloves 24/7. Brutus also comes from a long line of Ohio trash, and I have never met a single person from Ohio who was mentally stable so I am reluctantly giving the edge to the opposition. E tu, Brutus?

Winner: Brutus

3. Toughness

As an elephant, Big Al is virtually unmovable. Brutus can't handle getting tackled; he tumbles to the ground faster than Woody Hayes throws a punch. Examine the video evidence below.

Hahahahahahahahaha. What a little baby.

Winner: Big Al

4. Drip

Brutus is dressed like a emaciated British child at prep school. You just KNOW he's a narc.

Big Al, on the other hand, is both affable and adorable. He is a chonk and we love him.

Winner: Big Al

5. Age

Big Al has been part of Alabama's game days for almost 40 years. The elephant tradition dates back to the 1930's, but the Big Al we know and love first came onto the scene in 1979.

The first Brutus costume was made of paper mache, so take a moment and imagine how terrifying that must have been. Brutus was born (conjured?) in 1965.

Big Al is 14 years younger and will whip that boomer's ass.

Winner: Big Al

We've looked at the film, folks. We've examined it from every angle, and I am pleased to report that our overall winner is the one, the only, the GOAT.


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